The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, and Grace

With babies (and I'm assuming kids, too, but right now I have a baby) you daily encounter what I've termed, "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, and Grace".

The Good:
There is so much good to motherhood that I won't be able to list it all here. But some of my recent Good is:

• ~ baby coos
• ~ baby screams (even if you might have to get hearing aids before you're 50)
• ~ baby giggles and laughs
• ~ baby smiles (even in the wee hours of the morning when you are stumbling around with one eye half open; seeing that smile, directed totally at you is more than words)
• ~ baby chats, especially when he just has SO MUCH to say
• ~ tickling baby
• ~ rough-housing baby
• ~ watching hubby and baby rough-housing and laughing and making too much noise :)
• ~ swaying with baby in the snugli or moby until he falls asleep or is just really, really chill
• ~ seeing things brand new through baby's eyes
• ~ rocking and singing and praying and reading (and baby talking through all of it so that you can hardly get a word in edgewise)(but sometimes he's really calm and lays his head against me and snuggles in....... ahhhhhhhh)
• ~ baby expressions that are endless in their variety
• ~ new baby things, like playing with his hair and scratching textured fabrics and reaching and picking up stuff
• ~ that beautiful sleeping baby face 
• ~ seeing HOW EXCITED baby is over cell phones and remotes
• ~ getting together with other moms and babies and realizing that you're doing a great job

The Bad:

Or otherwise titled, The Unpleasant, Tedious, and Gross:

• ~ baby sneezes - before I had a baby, it would have never, ever been okay for someone to sneeze on me 
• ~ baby spit-up - all over baby, all over you, all down the inside of your shirt, all over everything in a 3 foot radius
• ~ baby poop blow-outs and the clean-up afterwards
• ~ singing another silly song, yet again, to get baby to stop fussing and crying while getting dressed
• ~ playing with the same baby toys over and over
• ~ staying inside all day because of the wintry weather
• ~ doing laundry day in and day out
• ~ changing clothes 20 times a day

The Ugly:

The ugly is me. My selfish heart that wants baby to not cry and just nap because I want to [fill in the blank]. The times when I put my needs before his. The moments when I lose my cool. And when I expect him to be something he is not. 

But through it all, there is Grace:

Grace came through Jesus, and out of His fullness we have received grace. Each day, through the ups and downs, through the good, the bad, and the ugly, I see and experience grace. 

Will the Real Stair Master Please Stand Up?

Cool, hip mom:
30 min. on the stair climber, soaked in the jacuzzi, chatted with Lindsey and Sarah at the juice bar, picked up kids from play area, went to Story Time at the Library, grabbed a Starbucks, and headed home to make lunch for the kids.

Me:
Arrived home after a morning out: Baby is asleep in car carrier, "Sweet, he'll probably sleep awhile." Sit down to work on computer projects and emails. 10 minutes later, his little eyeballs pop open and he begins 'talking'. Change him, swaddle him, read a book, rock for a few minutes, put to bed (he desperately needs a nap).

Up and down the stairs a gazillion times during the next two hours to try to get him to nap~~
After 2 feedings, 4 rockings, 2 songs, 2 prayers, swaying, 1 yoga rocking, popping Nuk back in mouth countless times, and hundreds of kisses - he sleeps!

I'm a Person Again

I started tutoring again - just one student, one hour, one day a week.
And he was really glad to see me and I was so proud of his progress.
I thoroughly enjoyed listening to him read - both his improvement in reading and the book his chose, one from the Geronimo Stilton series. They are funny and entertaining.
And he showed me all the computer/iPad stuff they get to do.
And I was impressed and amazed.
And now I have something new to do during the week - get a few things prepared for him.

Being a full-time stay at home mom is great and I wouldn't want to do anything else.
But, getting to be productive again is second best.

And I feel like a person again.

Mommy & Me Yoga

On Monday I went to my first Mommy & Me yoga class. Visions of calming music, peaceful atmosphere, poses with my sweet baby filled my mind on the way there. This was going to be such a great morning!
And it sort of started off that way. We seven moms sat yogi style on our mats, Enigma played quietly in the background, we placed our babies on their Boppy pillows, and everything was calm and serene as we began stretching. Then our instructor led us into baby massage - my kid laughed a ton because he's ticklish; some of the other babies started making noises too. Next was poses with baby. Some babies were starting to get fussy, but most enjoyed the poses. I was thinking, "This is so great. My baby is doing so good! I'm doing this every Monday!"
Then...... our instructor instructed us to lay baby back on the Bobby or on a blanket to play/relax/chill while the moms did poses on their own. My kid relaxed for 2 minutes tops; the rest of the 15 minutes he was fussy/cranky due to needing a nap. I held him and did a couple of the poses that I could with a baby in my arms, but mostly bounced and swayed to keep him content. Some of the other babies got fussy too, one cried, another had to eat.

All in all, it was a great class and, for now, it's free so I'll definitely go again.

Music Rocks (Or It Doesn't)

About a month or so ago my husband was dropping off the baby at his parents' house. They were watching the baby for most of the afternoon and into the evening while we were out with friends. When my husband picked up the baby, his mom mentioned that he'd cried a lot of the day, was fussy and cranky, and barely napped. 
The next day I was trying to figure out what was going on that caused him to be so cranky and not sleep. I asked my husband if Baby was asleep when he dropped him off, because he usually is. He loves to sleep in the car. My husband said, "Actually, no, because I kinda forgot he was in the car and I had my music on loud. So he was wide awake when I dropped him off". We had a good laugh about it, but I was kind of wondering how he could forget the baby was with him.
Then the other day I was out running errands by myself. At first, I was driving along in a silent car. Finally, after 10 minutes, I realized that Baby wasn't with me and I could listen to music. So I cranked it up! Then I remembered what had happened to my husband and I realized that I'm used to the baby being in the car and he isn't. 

Being Informed is Inconvenient

I feel like mothers of previous generations had it a bit easier due to less information.

Before: Your kids want to play outside or go to the pool - simply send them out. 
Now: We know about the harmful effects of the sun, so it takes a bit longer to apply all the sunscreen before playing outside in the yard or at the pool. And if they're out for a long time, you have to reapply.

Before: Hungry kids wanting a snack - Kool-aid and a Little Debbie snack-cake - bada bing bada boom. Kids are happy. 
Now: You spend hours reading and researching healthy snacks, writing grocery lists, finding certain foods at the grocery story, preparing said healthy snacks, and convincing your kids to eat them. No bada, no bing, and no boom. 

Before: Your kids want to ride their bikes to the nearest Kwik-E-Mart (or other similar establishment). Sayonara. See ya later. Mom has a cup of coffee and a sit down for the next three hours.
Now: You know about the dangers lurking around every corner and are incredibly fearful of every stranger. You may have even gone on www.familywatchdog.us (or other similar site) and are even more terrified of the people in your neighborhood. You spend hours getting the kids ready, walking or riding bikes to said establishment, shopping, arguing about what snacks they can and can't get, buying those snacks, chatting with another mom from your playgroup, chasing your son who just ran out into the parking lot, listening to a man from your church drone on and on about his cousin's brother's wife's obnoxious teenager, taking your daughter to the restroom 3,000 times, and walking/riding back home. 

I'm starting the process of feeding my baby foods and it's arduous due to the research I've been doing. Sure, it could be easy, open a jar and feed the baby. But I want the absolute best diet for my child so I've been reading and researching, most particularly Super Nutrition for Babies: The Right Way to Feed Your Baby for Optimal Health and it's a lot to process and remember. I read and reread chapters, take notes, and make lists. I will not be able to find everything they recommend at my local grocery store; I'll have to do some searching around and collaborating with local farmers. I'll be spending time making food. On one hand it's a lot of time-consuming work; on the other hand, I'm really excited about it all. 

I'm also excited that other moms are doing the same thing as me - check out this blog and this blog.

Baby Time

I have discovered that I now measure time by my baby's age. 

Earlier today I was sitting in the dentist's chair for my bi-annual cleaning. The hygienist went ahead and made my next appointment for August 12. I immediately thought, "Baby will be nearly a year old then; he'll be eleven months". I said to the hygienist, "Wow, August seems so far away".  Because, 6 months doesn't sound that far, August sounds kind of far, but my baby being 11 months old seems really far away. And I tried to imagine what my life will be like in August, the next time I'm in that chair, when my baby is nearly a year old. Weird.

The Fro Yo PlayDate That Wasn't

It was cold yesterday, bitterly cold, but the sun was shining brightly.

I had a scheduled playdate through my meetup.com group, but I kinda didn't want to go out in that freezing cold weather. But I did really really want to chat with moms and begin to make some friendships. (Every other Friday they go to a local Fro Yo place for craft, story, and yogurt and I wasn't able to go the last 3 times.) So I decided to brave the cold.

And I got there and no one from the meetup group came. There had been 7 or 8 moms signed up and only me showed up. There were three other moms and a grandpa/grandma who were there for the event but not part of our group. I couldn't believe it. Of course I just go to socialize since my 4 month old can't do the craft or eat the yogurt. He did sit on my lap and listen to the story - it was so funny; he watched the story lady almost the entire time like he knew what he was supposed to do.

After the activity we fed the baby, had a nice, warm coffee, and a free sample of fro yo. Yummers. We talked to the others that were there. Bundled up and headed back out into the frigidness.

It's So Easy

My mom arrived on Wednesday and is here for a week and a half. Yay! All moms rejoice when they have an extra set of hands and eyes to help them out. Particularly for me, though, because a) it's cold and winter and I feel stuck in a lot of days of late, b) I don't know many people here so having company just makes my day, c) I can finally do those things I never seem to accomplish with caring for baby 24/7, d) I can run errands and go places without getting baby and heavy carrier out of the car and into the cold at every place.

Before she came I chocked my schedule full. I saw my stylist yesterday and am happy to report that after getting 5" taken off, I now have a hairstyle again. Woo-hoo. This coming week I'll get a teeth cleaning, a facial, go on a MNO, have a couple's massage with hubby, and go out to dinner with hubby. I'm more excited than a kid on Christmas morning.

The first day she was here I needed to pick up a few groceries and Yay! for getting to do them by myself and not on the weekend. I love grocery stores so I went to one that I hadn't been to before, which is weird for me because it's only 3 min from my house. I got to browse and look and take my time. And I realized that this grocery store is so much better than the one I normally go to (for the stuff on my list that I can't get at Trader Joe's); they had more healthy, natural, organic options.

Since she's been here, I've gotten to cook dinner uninterrupted, be on the computer for a whole stretch of time uninterrupted, take a shower uninterrupted, etc. etc. And I realized, It's So Easy. I'm not completely exhausted at 8:00 at night when baby goes to bed. I'm not scurrying around like some kind of mad person. And the baby hasn't hardly fussed or cried at all because he's been constantly held - lucky duck, such a spoiled little boy :)

All I've got to say is - When Grandma comes to town, I don't know who is happier --- mom or child? Cause my bet is on mom.

*Clarification: my mom looks 30 years younger than this woman in the photo - but I thought it was so cute and sweet and precious.