I don't know about other people, but I tend to do a lot of self-talk.
Lately, my self-talk revolves around me telling myself, "you have nothing to complain about". The things I grumble and mumble about are so piddly in the grand scheme of life. The things I think I need aren't needs at all, but simply selfish desires of what I think I should have.
This morning I was reminded, yet again, that I have no complaints. I started a list in my mind of the things I am so thankful for that I often take for granted.
1. a husband who provides, who goes to/from a very stressful job without complaining
2. a husband who rocks a crying baby to sleep so that I can get a few moments to myself
3. a healthy, happy baby
4. a warm house
5. food in the fridge
6. running water
7. toilet paper in the bathrooms
8. a working car
9. internet, phone
10. at least 5 people that I know I can call at any time of the day
I'll stop there for now.
Over a year ago I was challenged by both Oprah and my pastor (in the same week!) to take time each day to write down one thing I'm thankful for, and you can't repeat! It has to be something new each day. And I did it for awhile, and then life, or whatever, happened and it fizzled out. Whether I write it down or mentally think it, I need to be more conscious about thankfulness and less focused on complaints.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
I Can't Imagine
When I watch my baby, I can't imagine what he will be like in 2 months, 4 months, 6 months time. Let alone what he will be like a year or more from now.
All I see is who my baby is right now. It's hard to believe that soon he will be crawling and then walking. I can't imagine him moving! Right now, when I put him on his tummy or back, he stays there. He kicks and flaps his arms a lot, but he doesn't go anywhere. It just seems like he will stay like this for a long time, but it won't be that long, and that is so weird.
I can't wrap my head around it. And I'm starting to get that panicky, mom feeling of 'don't grow up so fast'.
All I see is who my baby is right now. It's hard to believe that soon he will be crawling and then walking. I can't imagine him moving! Right now, when I put him on his tummy or back, he stays there. He kicks and flaps his arms a lot, but he doesn't go anywhere. It just seems like he will stay like this for a long time, but it won't be that long, and that is so weird.
I can't wrap my head around it. And I'm starting to get that panicky, mom feeling of 'don't grow up so fast'.
Thankfulness
Now (compared to when I was younger and single) being a wife and mother, it's amazing how the simplest events, happenings, moments, things bring me to the deepest gratitude.
For example,
1. quickly finding a recipe online, in which I already have all the ingredients, while baby is napping
2. putting all those ingredients in the crockpot in 15 minutes while baby happily plays (yes, this recipe was THAT quick! and I'm not a fast cook)
3. being humbled by my super efficiency when the crockpot won't turn on and I think it's broken (and nearly panic)
4. discovering that I needed to push the reset button on the electrical outlet so that crockpot will turn on
5. moby wrap to the rescue soothes a cranky, teething baby
6. rocking baby to sleep in the moby while watching ellen
7. baby sleeps on my chest for an hour and a half, therefore, no time to fix dinner....
8. ....however, crockpot to the rescue- dinner is ready in the crockpot when hubby comes home!
9. put together a quick, simple salad and dressing
10. eat a homemade, whole foods dinner
and tonight I'm on my knees (figuratively, I'm too worn out for that) in thankfulness.
For example,
1. quickly finding a recipe online, in which I already have all the ingredients, while baby is napping
2. putting all those ingredients in the crockpot in 15 minutes while baby happily plays (yes, this recipe was THAT quick! and I'm not a fast cook)
3. being humbled by my super efficiency when the crockpot won't turn on and I think it's broken (and nearly panic)
4. discovering that I needed to push the reset button on the electrical outlet so that crockpot will turn on
5. moby wrap to the rescue soothes a cranky, teething baby
6. rocking baby to sleep in the moby while watching ellen
7. baby sleeps on my chest for an hour and a half, therefore, no time to fix dinner....
8. ....however, crockpot to the rescue- dinner is ready in the crockpot when hubby comes home!
9. put together a quick, simple salad and dressing
10. eat a homemade, whole foods dinner
and tonight I'm on my knees (figuratively, I'm too worn out for that) in thankfulness.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, and Grace
With babies (and I'm assuming kids, too, but right now I have a baby) you daily encounter what I've termed, "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, and Grace".
The Good:
There is so much good to motherhood that I won't be able to list it all here. But some of my recent Good is:
The Good:
There is so much good to motherhood that I won't be able to list it all here. But some of my recent Good is:
- ~ baby coos
- ~ baby screams (even if you might have to get hearing aids before you're 50)
- ~ baby giggles and laughs
- ~ baby smiles (even in the wee hours of the morning when you are stumbling around with one eye half open; seeing that smile, directed totally at you is more than words)
- ~ baby chats, especially when he just has SO MUCH to say
- ~ tickling baby
- ~ rough-housing baby
- ~ watching hubby and baby rough-housing and laughing and making too much noise :)
- ~ swaying with baby in the snugli or moby until he falls asleep or is just really, really chill
- ~ seeing things brand new through baby's eyes
- ~ rocking and singing and praying and reading (and baby talking through all of it so that you can hardly get a word in edgewise)(but sometimes he's really calm and lays his head against me and snuggles in....... ahhhhhhhh)
- ~ baby expressions that are endless in their variety
- ~ new baby things, like playing with his hair and scratching textured fabrics and reaching and picking up stuff
- ~ that beautiful sleeping baby face
- ~ seeing HOW EXCITED baby is over cell phones and remotes
- ~ getting together with other moms and babies and realizing that you're doing a great job
The Bad:
Or otherwise titled, The Unpleasant, Tedious, and Gross:
- ~ baby sneezes - before I had a baby, it would have never, ever been okay for someone to sneeze on me
- ~ baby spit-up - all over baby, all over you, all down the inside of your shirt, all over everything in a 3 foot radius
- ~ baby poop blow-outs and the clean-up afterwards
- ~ singing another silly song, yet again, to get baby to stop fussing and crying while getting dressed
- ~ playing with the same baby toys over and over
- ~ staying inside all day because of the wintry weather
- ~ doing laundry day in and day out
- ~ changing clothes 20 times a day
The Ugly:
The ugly is me. My selfish heart that wants baby to not cry and just nap because I want to [fill in the blank]. The times when I put my needs before his. The moments when I lose my cool. And when I expect him to be something he is not.
But through it all, there is Grace:
Grace came through Jesus, and out of His fullness we have received grace. Each day, through the ups and downs, through the good, the bad, and the ugly, I see and experience grace.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Will the Real Stair Master Please Stand Up?
Cool, hip mom:
30 min. on the stair climber, soaked in the jacuzzi, chatted with Lindsey and Sarah at the juice bar, picked up kids from play area, went to Story Time at the Library, grabbed a Starbucks, and headed home to make lunch for the kids.
Me:
Arrived home after a morning out: Baby is asleep in car carrier, "Sweet, he'll probably sleep awhile." Sit down to work on computer projects and emails. 10 minutes later, his little eyeballs pop open and he begins 'talking'. Change him, swaddle him, read a book, rock for a few minutes, put to bed (he desperately needs a nap).
Up and down the stairs a gazillion times during the next two hours to try to get him to nap~~
After 2 feedings, 4 rockings, 2 songs, 2 prayers, swaying, 1 yoga rocking, popping Nuk back in mouth countless times, and hundreds of kisses - he sleeps!
30 min. on the stair climber, soaked in the jacuzzi, chatted with Lindsey and Sarah at the juice bar, picked up kids from play area, went to Story Time at the Library, grabbed a Starbucks, and headed home to make lunch for the kids.
Me:
Arrived home after a morning out: Baby is asleep in car carrier, "Sweet, he'll probably sleep awhile." Sit down to work on computer projects and emails. 10 minutes later, his little eyeballs pop open and he begins 'talking'. Change him, swaddle him, read a book, rock for a few minutes, put to bed (he desperately needs a nap).
Up and down the stairs a gazillion times during the next two hours to try to get him to nap~~After 2 feedings, 4 rockings, 2 songs, 2 prayers, swaying, 1 yoga rocking, popping Nuk back in mouth countless times, and hundreds of kisses - he sleeps!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
I'm a Person Again
I started tutoring again - just one student, one hour, one day a week.
And he was really glad to see me and I was so proud of his progress.
I thoroughly enjoyed listening to him read - both his improvement in reading and the book his chose, one from the Geronimo Stilton series. They are funny and entertaining.
And he showed me all the computer/iPad stuff they get to do.
And I was impressed and amazed.
And now I have something new to do during the week - get a few things prepared for him.
Being a full-time stay at home mom is great and I wouldn't want to do anything else.
But, getting to be productive again is second best.
And I feel like a person again.
And he was really glad to see me and I was so proud of his progress.
I thoroughly enjoyed listening to him read - both his improvement in reading and the book his chose, one from the Geronimo Stilton series. They are funny and entertaining.
And he showed me all the computer/iPad stuff they get to do.
And I was impressed and amazed.
And now I have something new to do during the week - get a few things prepared for him.
Being a full-time stay at home mom is great and I wouldn't want to do anything else.
But, getting to be productive again is second best.
And I feel like a person again.
Mommy & Me Yoga
On Monday I went to my first Mommy & Me yoga class. Visions of calming music, peaceful atmosphere, poses with my sweet baby filled my mind on the way there. This was going to be such a great morning!
And it sort of started off that way. We seven moms sat yogi style on our mats, Enigma played quietly in the background, we placed our babies on their Boppy pillows, and everything was calm and serene as we began stretching. Then our instructor led us into baby massage - my kid laughed a ton because he's ticklish; some of the other babies started making noises too. Next was poses with baby. Some babies were starting to get fussy, but most enjoyed the poses. I was thinking, "This is so great. My baby is doing so good! I'm doing this every Monday!"
Then...... our instructor instructed us to lay baby back on the Bobby or on a blanket to play/relax/chill while the moms did poses on their own. My kid relaxed for 2 minutes tops; the rest of the 15 minutes he was fussy/cranky due to needing a nap. I held him and did a couple of the poses that I could with a baby in my arms, but mostly bounced and swayed to keep him content. Some of the other babies got fussy too, one cried, another had to eat.
All in all, it was a great class and, for now, it's free so I'll definitely go again.
And it sort of started off that way. We seven moms sat yogi style on our mats, Enigma played quietly in the background, we placed our babies on their Boppy pillows, and everything was calm and serene as we began stretching. Then our instructor led us into baby massage - my kid laughed a ton because he's ticklish; some of the other babies started making noises too. Next was poses with baby. Some babies were starting to get fussy, but most enjoyed the poses. I was thinking, "This is so great. My baby is doing so good! I'm doing this every Monday!"
Then...... our instructor instructed us to lay baby back on the Bobby or on a blanket to play/relax/chill while the moms did poses on their own. My kid relaxed for 2 minutes tops; the rest of the 15 minutes he was fussy/cranky due to needing a nap. I held him and did a couple of the poses that I could with a baby in my arms, but mostly bounced and swayed to keep him content. Some of the other babies got fussy too, one cried, another had to eat.
All in all, it was a great class and, for now, it's free so I'll definitely go again.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Music Rocks (Or It Doesn't)
About a month or so ago my husband was dropping off the baby at his parents' house. They were watching the baby for most of the afternoon and into the evening while we were out with friends. When my husband picked up the baby, his mom mentioned that he'd cried a lot of the day, was fussy and cranky, and barely napped.
The next day I was trying to figure out what was going on that caused him to be so cranky and not sleep. I asked my husband if Baby was asleep when he dropped him off, because he usually is. He loves to sleep in the car. My husband said, "Actually, no, because I kinda forgot he was in the car and I had my music on loud. So he was wide awake when I dropped him off". We had a good laugh about it, but I was kind of wondering how he could forget the baby was with him.
Then the other day I was out running errands by myself. At first, I was driving along in a silent car. Finally, after 10 minutes, I realized that Baby wasn't with me and I could listen to music. So I cranked it up! Then I remembered what had happened to my husband and I realized that I'm used to the baby being in the car and he isn't.
The next day I was trying to figure out what was going on that caused him to be so cranky and not sleep. I asked my husband if Baby was asleep when he dropped him off, because he usually is. He loves to sleep in the car. My husband said, "Actually, no, because I kinda forgot he was in the car and I had my music on loud. So he was wide awake when I dropped him off". We had a good laugh about it, but I was kind of wondering how he could forget the baby was with him.
Then the other day I was out running errands by myself. At first, I was driving along in a silent car. Finally, after 10 minutes, I realized that Baby wasn't with me and I could listen to music. So I cranked it up! Then I remembered what had happened to my husband and I realized that I'm used to the baby being in the car and he isn't.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Being Informed is Inconvenient
I feel like mothers of previous generations had it a bit easier due to less information.
Before: Your kids want to play outside or go to the pool - simply send them out.
Now: We know about the harmful effects of the sun, so it takes a bit longer to apply all the sunscreen before playing outside in the yard or at the pool. And if they're out for a long time, you have to reapply.
Before: Hungry kids wanting a snack - Kool-aid and a Little Debbie snack-cake - bada bing bada boom. Kids are happy.
Now: You spend hours reading and researching healthy snacks, writing grocery lists, finding certain foods at the grocery story, preparing said healthy snacks, and convincing your kids to eat them. No bada, no bing, and no boom.
Before: Your kids want to ride their bikes to the nearest Kwik-E-Mart (or other similar establishment). Sayonara. See ya later. Mom has a cup of coffee and a sit down for the next three hours.
Now: You know about the dangers lurking around every corner and are incredibly fearful of every stranger. You may have even gone on www.familywatchdog.us (or other similar site) and are even more terrified of the people in your neighborhood. You spend hours getting the kids ready, walking or riding bikes to said establishment, shopping, arguing about what snacks they can and can't get, buying those snacks, chatting with another mom from your playgroup, chasing your son who just ran out into the parking lot, listening to a man from your church drone on and on about his cousin's brother's wife's obnoxious teenager, taking your daughter to the restroom 3,000 times, and walking/riding back home.
I'm starting the process of feeding my baby foods and it's arduous due to the research I've been doing. Sure, it could be easy, open a jar and feed the baby. But I want the absolute best diet for my child so I've been reading and researching, most particularly Super Nutrition for Babies: The Right Way to Feed Your Baby for Optimal Health and it's a lot to process and remember. I read and reread chapters, take notes, and make lists. I will not be able to find everything they recommend at my local grocery store; I'll have to do some searching around and collaborating with local farmers. I'll be spending time making food. On one hand it's a lot of time-consuming work; on the other hand, I'm really excited about it all.
I'm also excited that other moms are doing the same thing as me - check out this blog and this blog.
Before: Your kids want to play outside or go to the pool - simply send them out.
Now: We know about the harmful effects of the sun, so it takes a bit longer to apply all the sunscreen before playing outside in the yard or at the pool. And if they're out for a long time, you have to reapply.
Before: Hungry kids wanting a snack - Kool-aid and a Little Debbie snack-cake - bada bing bada boom. Kids are happy.
Now: You spend hours reading and researching healthy snacks, writing grocery lists, finding certain foods at the grocery story, preparing said healthy snacks, and convincing your kids to eat them. No bada, no bing, and no boom.
Before: Your kids want to ride their bikes to the nearest Kwik-E-Mart (or other similar establishment). Sayonara. See ya later. Mom has a cup of coffee and a sit down for the next three hours.
Now: You know about the dangers lurking around every corner and are incredibly fearful of every stranger. You may have even gone on www.familywatchdog.us (or other similar site) and are even more terrified of the people in your neighborhood. You spend hours getting the kids ready, walking or riding bikes to said establishment, shopping, arguing about what snacks they can and can't get, buying those snacks, chatting with another mom from your playgroup, chasing your son who just ran out into the parking lot, listening to a man from your church drone on and on about his cousin's brother's wife's obnoxious teenager, taking your daughter to the restroom 3,000 times, and walking/riding back home.
I'm starting the process of feeding my baby foods and it's arduous due to the research I've been doing. Sure, it could be easy, open a jar and feed the baby. But I want the absolute best diet for my child so I've been reading and researching, most particularly Super Nutrition for Babies: The Right Way to Feed Your Baby for Optimal Health and it's a lot to process and remember. I read and reread chapters, take notes, and make lists. I will not be able to find everything they recommend at my local grocery store; I'll have to do some searching around and collaborating with local farmers. I'll be spending time making food. On one hand it's a lot of time-consuming work; on the other hand, I'm really excited about it all.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Baby Time
I have discovered that I now measure time by my baby's age.
Earlier today I was sitting in the dentist's chair for my bi-annual cleaning. The hygienist went ahead and made my next appointment for August 12. I immediately thought, "Baby will be nearly a year old then; he'll be eleven months". I said to the hygienist, "Wow, August seems so far away". Because, 6 months doesn't sound that far, August sounds kind of far, but my baby being 11 months old seems really far away. And I tried to imagine what my life will be like in August, the next time I'm in that chair, when my baby is nearly a year old. Weird.
Earlier today I was sitting in the dentist's chair for my bi-annual cleaning. The hygienist went ahead and made my next appointment for August 12. I immediately thought, "Baby will be nearly a year old then; he'll be eleven months". I said to the hygienist, "Wow, August seems so far away". Because, 6 months doesn't sound that far, August sounds kind of far, but my baby being 11 months old seems really far away. And I tried to imagine what my life will be like in August, the next time I'm in that chair, when my baby is nearly a year old. Weird.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
The Fro Yo PlayDate That Wasn't
It was cold yesterday, bitterly cold, but the sun was shining brightly.
I had a scheduled playdate through my meetup.com group, but I kinda didn't want to go out in that freezing cold weather. But I did really really want to chat with moms and begin to make some friendships. (Every other Friday they go to a local Fro Yo place for craft, story, and yogurt and I wasn't able to go the last 3 times.) So I decided to brave the cold.
And I got there and no one from the meetup group came. There had been 7 or 8 moms signed up and only me showed up. There were three other moms and a grandpa/grandma who were there for the event but not part of our group. I couldn't believe it. Of course I just go to socialize since my 4 month old can't do the craft or eat the yogurt. He did sit on my lap and listen to the story - it was so funny; he watched the story lady almost the entire time like he knew what he was supposed to do.
After the activity we fed the baby, had a nice, warm coffee, and a free sample of fro yo. Yummers. We talked to the others that were there. Bundled up and headed back out into the frigidness.
I had a scheduled playdate through my meetup.com group, but I kinda didn't want to go out in that freezing cold weather. But I did really really want to chat with moms and begin to make some friendships. (Every other Friday they go to a local Fro Yo place for craft, story, and yogurt and I wasn't able to go the last 3 times.) So I decided to brave the cold.
And I got there and no one from the meetup group came. There had been 7 or 8 moms signed up and only me showed up. There were three other moms and a grandpa/grandma who were there for the event but not part of our group. I couldn't believe it. Of course I just go to socialize since my 4 month old can't do the craft or eat the yogurt. He did sit on my lap and listen to the story - it was so funny; he watched the story lady almost the entire time like he knew what he was supposed to do.
After the activity we fed the baby, had a nice, warm coffee, and a free sample of fro yo. Yummers. We talked to the others that were there. Bundled up and headed back out into the frigidness.
Friday, February 1, 2013
It's So Easy
My mom arrived on Wednesday and is here for a week and a half. Yay! All moms rejoice when they have an extra set of hands and eyes to help them out. Particularly for me, though, because a) it's cold and winter and I feel stuck in a lot of days of late, b) I don't know many people here so having company just makes my day, c) I can finally do those things I never seem to accomplish with caring for baby 24/7, d) I can run errands and go places without getting baby and heavy carrier out of the car and into the cold at every place.
Before she came I chocked my schedule full. I saw my stylist yesterday and am happy to report that after getting 5" taken off, I now have a hairstyle again. Woo-hoo. This coming week I'll get a teeth cleaning, a facial, go on a MNO, have a couple's massage with hubby, and go out to dinner with hubby. I'm more excited than a kid on Christmas morning.
The first day she was here I needed to pick up a few groceries and Yay! for getting to do them by myself and not on the weekend. I love grocery stores so I went to one that I hadn't been to before, which is weird for me because it's only 3 min from my house. I got to browse and look and take my time. And I realized that this grocery store is so much better than the one I normally go to (for the stuff on my list that I can't get at Trader Joe's); they had more healthy, natural, organic options.
Since she's been here, I've gotten to cook dinner uninterrupted, be on the computer for a whole stretch of time uninterrupted, take a shower uninterrupted, etc. etc. And I realized, It's So Easy. I'm not completely exhausted at 8:00 at night when baby goes to bed. I'm not scurrying around like some kind of mad person. And the baby hasn't hardly fussed or cried at all because he's been constantly held - lucky duck, such a spoiled little boy :)
All I've got to say is - When Grandma comes to town, I don't know who is happier --- mom or child? Cause my bet is on mom.
*Clarification: my mom looks 30 years younger than this woman in the photo - but I thought it was so cute and sweet and precious.
Before she came I chocked my schedule full. I saw my stylist yesterday and am happy to report that after getting 5" taken off, I now have a hairstyle again. Woo-hoo. This coming week I'll get a teeth cleaning, a facial, go on a MNO, have a couple's massage with hubby, and go out to dinner with hubby. I'm more excited than a kid on Christmas morning.
The first day she was here I needed to pick up a few groceries and Yay! for getting to do them by myself and not on the weekend. I love grocery stores so I went to one that I hadn't been to before, which is weird for me because it's only 3 min from my house. I got to browse and look and take my time. And I realized that this grocery store is so much better than the one I normally go to (for the stuff on my list that I can't get at Trader Joe's); they had more healthy, natural, organic options.
Since she's been here, I've gotten to cook dinner uninterrupted, be on the computer for a whole stretch of time uninterrupted, take a shower uninterrupted, etc. etc. And I realized, It's So Easy. I'm not completely exhausted at 8:00 at night when baby goes to bed. I'm not scurrying around like some kind of mad person. And the baby hasn't hardly fussed or cried at all because he's been constantly held - lucky duck, such a spoiled little boy :)
All I've got to say is - When Grandma comes to town, I don't know who is happier --- mom or child? Cause my bet is on mom.
*Clarification: my mom looks 30 years younger than this woman in the photo - but I thought it was so cute and sweet and precious.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
The Weird World of Playdates
Playdate - this is a concept that is taking me awhile to adjust to. For centuries moms have gotten together with other moms to let their kids play and enjoy chatting with each other. But, this new 'playdate' thing is kinda weird. I've been to a few and have enjoyed each one - they're great! I get to socialize with other moms and my baby loves watching other kids play. He's totally entertained by them. Each time my husband jokes about how bourgeois playdates are.
I did a teeny-tiny bit of research and this is what I discovered.
Wikipedia says - "A play date or playdate is an arranged appointment for children to get together for a few hours to play.
I did a teeny-tiny bit of research and this is what I discovered.
Wikipedia says - "A play date or playdate is an arranged appointment for children to get together for a few hours to play.
Playdates have become the standard for children of many western cultures because the work schedules for busy parents, along with media warnings about leaving children unattended, prevent the kind of play that children of other generations participated in. Playdates are also arranged by destinations that feature child-friendly programs like museums, parks or playgrounds.
The intention of a playdate is to give children time to interact freely in a less structured environment than other planned activities might provide. Playdates are different from organized activities or scheduled sports, because they are not usually structured.
Playdates are becoming part of the vernacular of popular culture and form a part of children’s "down time." Most parents prefer children to use these hours to form friendships by playing with other children either one-on-one or within small groups. When children are very young, most parents stay for the playdate and use the time to form their own friendships and parental alliances."
Babycenter.com gives a guide to great playdates including hiding favorite toys, offering choices, and being firm about clean-up. Most of the stuff on the list goes above and beyond what mothers of previous generations did when their children got together to play. In fact, reading this list may provide more stress than the average mom can handle.
Parents.com has an article titled Nice Kids, Rude Parents: Does Your Playdate Etiquette Need a Makeover? Helpful, but typically most rude parents don't know that they're the rude ones.
Then there's the anonymous mom who has started a blog where she writes about all the bad playdates she's been on including: "a clearly anorexic mother who lives vicariously through her daughter by forcing her to eat several brownies and cupcakes in one sitting" and "the mother who straps her child into a time-out chair … for the entire 2-hour playdate" and "the mother who invites me to a playdate to rake leaves". Wow, crazy.
When I was getting ready for a playdate last Friday, I struggled with how am I supposed to look? When I was young and single and I went out with my girl friends we would all dress up or look cute in some way. Even when I was married, pre-kids, and I was out with other women, we would all be 'fixed up'. But, is this the same for playdates? I wear a ponytail so often that I don't even know what my 'hair style' is or if I even have one. I have pants and shirts and dresses and boots, but do I even have 'outfits' anymore? or accessories? So I ended up with my hair down and somewhat styled and even wore a bracelet - wow! I'm stylin'! And I got there and all the other moms had some kind of ponytail or bun. No one looked they were trying to impress, like when we were young and single and, let's face it, skinnier. They were just there to a) get out of the house, b) let there kids 'get some socialization', c) have a free lunch (the hosting mom ordered in - score!), d) chat with other moms, and e) avoid housework.
My first few playdates have fared well and I hope for the best in the future - but this is a world of real moms and real kids and nothing is ever like the movies.
Housecleaning Isn't For Wimps
Part of being a stay at home mom is housecleaning and sometimes you just look at that long list of chores and think "ewww, yuck". And for a moment you idolize those 'cool' working moms that hire housecleaners and you imagine leaving for work looking pretty and dignified and returning home to a clean, spotless house. But actually, there you stand in your work-out clothes, hair in ponytail, baby fussing, and that dreaded list.
Most of the time, I can put on some music, work quickly, and not mind the housecleaning too much. And actually, I like vacuuming. But, I absolutely hate washing dishes. I will do everything possible to avoid washing dishes. I cram as much as I can into my dishwasher so as not to have to physically wash them myself. And I see how irrational this is, because it doesn't really take that long and it's not difficult. I just hate it.
Most of the time, I can put on some music, work quickly, and not mind the housecleaning too much. And actually, I like vacuuming. But, I absolutely hate washing dishes. I will do everything possible to avoid washing dishes. I cram as much as I can into my dishwasher so as not to have to physically wash them myself. And I see how irrational this is, because it doesn't really take that long and it's not difficult. I just hate it.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Aaahhhh Moments
Oprah had the Aha Moments and I've discovered Aaahhh Moments - those moments when everything perfectly aligns and you can sit back and say, "aaaahhhhhh". And I'm not just talking about when baby/kids are in bed either. Yesterday, I experienced such a moment.
My husband and I are sharing a car right now while we wait for his to get fixed, so sometimes the baby and I have a car and sometimes we don't. Yesterday we didn't have one. It was one of those weird winter days that is suddenly warm and spring like. It was cloudy and that morning before the rains came, I loaded baby in the buggy and we walked to CVS. I filled a prescription and did a little shopping and browsed those crazy mags like 'People' and 'Ok'. When we left, he was nearly asleep and it was so warm outside that I decided to take a little walk around the block.
Well, I went a bit further and did a mile. It was wonderful; so nice to have warmer air outside after the freezing and below freezing temps we've had. I noticed that the sidewalks in our neighborhood tend to get a lot of puddles when it rains and I day-dreamed about days when baby is older and we don our wellies and rain coats and go out puddle jumping. As we approached our house I thought about doing another mile, but it was beginning to sprinkle so I headed inside.
Truly, an aaaahhhh moment. Don't we all need more of these in our lives?
My husband and I are sharing a car right now while we wait for his to get fixed, so sometimes the baby and I have a car and sometimes we don't. Yesterday we didn't have one. It was one of those weird winter days that is suddenly warm and spring like. It was cloudy and that morning before the rains came, I loaded baby in the buggy and we walked to CVS. I filled a prescription and did a little shopping and browsed those crazy mags like 'People' and 'Ok'. When we left, he was nearly asleep and it was so warm outside that I decided to take a little walk around the block.
Well, I went a bit further and did a mile. It was wonderful; so nice to have warmer air outside after the freezing and below freezing temps we've had. I noticed that the sidewalks in our neighborhood tend to get a lot of puddles when it rains and I day-dreamed about days when baby is older and we don our wellies and rain coats and go out puddle jumping. As we approached our house I thought about doing another mile, but it was beginning to sprinkle so I headed inside.
Truly, an aaaahhhh moment. Don't we all need more of these in our lives?
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Not Your Average Mom Blog
This is not your average mom blog. I've seen a lot, and I mean a lot, of mom blogs which are very similar - stay at home mom, home-schools, has 4+ kids all 1-2 years apart, does their own gardening, canning, pasta making, bread-making, etc., goes to church and leads children in daily devotionals, and in all appearances, has it all together - you know, like the meek and mild 'perfect' women in the Bible. I applaud these women and in some ways I admire and envy them. But when it comes down to it, I know that that is them and this is me. So, like the popular rap song says, Umma do me.
I like pinterest because it's orderly and visual. And it's perfect that you have a place to find all that stuff you found on the internet before without doing a lot of searching. Sure, like most other moms in America, I pin stuff. But, I'm not a crafty person - you will rarely see me make something with my hands or DIY something out of thin air. I like to buy stuff already made. There, I said it. I know the crafty people will think I'm lazy and the green, eco people will think I'm wasteful. But, like my teenage step-children and niece, I say, "Whatever".
I pin a good amount of recipes and I've tried about 1/3 of them. I have a few criteria for recipes though: quick, easy, and few ingredients. I'll see something that looks delicious, click on it, and study the recipe - more than 10 steps, nope, more than 5-8 ingredients, nope, strange ingredients that I would have to search the entire grocery store ten times over to find, definitely not.
All this rambling is to say that this Mom Blog is different - you won't find me waxing poetic about how beautiful and wonderful it is to birth five children, raise them, school them, and spend every waking moment with them.* You won't see long posts about how to DIY anything (probably not, I might surprise myself). If I post recipes, they will be quick, easy, and with few ingredients - it won't take you all day to make. We have no back yard - so no gardening tips or how to raise your own 'insert animal'. No house-cleaning tips. No organizational tips. No devotional guides (that is personal to me and my family). No diet or healthy eating tips (this is important to me but I'll probably not talk about this much at all). You get the picture.
This is just me, a real mom, sharing my real mom experiences.
There are only so many hours in a day and if me, my husband, and our baby are fed, watered, clean, dressed, and cared for, then I feel I've accomplished what I need to accomplish. Beyond that is 'extra' and then I feel like supermom.
And this mom has a baby waking up - so the day begins - and it begins so well because he has The Best Morning Smiles of Any Baby Ever!
*Don't get me wrong - that's perfectly fine and commendable. In addition, I love kids and I hope to have 1 more and possibly raise some foster children and/or host foreign exchange students.
I like pinterest because it's orderly and visual. And it's perfect that you have a place to find all that stuff you found on the internet before without doing a lot of searching. Sure, like most other moms in America, I pin stuff. But, I'm not a crafty person - you will rarely see me make something with my hands or DIY something out of thin air. I like to buy stuff already made. There, I said it. I know the crafty people will think I'm lazy and the green, eco people will think I'm wasteful. But, like my teenage step-children and niece, I say, "Whatever".
I pin a good amount of recipes and I've tried about 1/3 of them. I have a few criteria for recipes though: quick, easy, and few ingredients. I'll see something that looks delicious, click on it, and study the recipe - more than 10 steps, nope, more than 5-8 ingredients, nope, strange ingredients that I would have to search the entire grocery store ten times over to find, definitely not.
All this rambling is to say that this Mom Blog is different - you won't find me waxing poetic about how beautiful and wonderful it is to birth five children, raise them, school them, and spend every waking moment with them.* You won't see long posts about how to DIY anything (probably not, I might surprise myself). If I post recipes, they will be quick, easy, and with few ingredients - it won't take you all day to make. We have no back yard - so no gardening tips or how to raise your own 'insert animal'. No house-cleaning tips. No organizational tips. No devotional guides (that is personal to me and my family). No diet or healthy eating tips (this is important to me but I'll probably not talk about this much at all). You get the picture.
This is just me, a real mom, sharing my real mom experiences.
There are only so many hours in a day and if me, my husband, and our baby are fed, watered, clean, dressed, and cared for, then I feel I've accomplished what I need to accomplish. Beyond that is 'extra' and then I feel like supermom.
*Don't get me wrong - that's perfectly fine and commendable. In addition, I love kids and I hope to have 1 more and possibly raise some foster children and/or host foreign exchange students.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Parenting Books
Parenting books: there are a slew of them out there and it's a rather daunting task to find the 'perfect' one for your family and as a new parent, the one that is going to tell you everything you need to know and maybe even hold your hand along the way. I've approached parenting books with a 'less is more' approach. Basically, I avoid most of them. I have a select few that have come across my path that have been enjoyable to read and helpful to me. (And of course there a million different parenting websites, forums, blogs, etc. on the interent in which you are inundated with 100,000+ different opinions on parenting. I stay clear of most of these too.)
In days of the past, most new parents had help from their own parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, friends, church family, but today, we live in a more independent society and many new parents live away from family. Therefore, our help comes mostly from books, not people. That is not to say that parents and in-laws and every woman you meet who has had a baby doesn't offer advice. They do! And most of them expect you to use their advice. You can't use everyone's advice so mostly we chalk it up to 'the old ways' and 'the new ways'. If your mom or grandma did it, then it's probably out-dated, so let's check the latest research and see what they do.
This is a list of books that I read during my pregnancy that were enjoyable and beneficial:
1. What To Expect When You're Expecting 4th Edition
2. Your Pregnancy and Childbirth: Month to Month 5th Edition
3. How to Have Your Second Child First: 100 Things That are Good to Know the First Time Around
4. Heading Home With Your Newborn: From Birth to Reality 2nd Edition
5. Bringing Up Bebe
6. How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm and Other Adventures in Parenting
And this is a list of books I've read since the baby was born and/or am currently still reading:
1. What to Expect The First Year
2. Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old
3. Caring For Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5
4. Supernanny: How to Get the Best from Your Children
5. Super Nutrition for Babies: The Right Way to Feed Your Baby for Optimal Health
6. The Petit Appetit Cookbook: Easy, Organic Recipes to Nurture Your Baby and Toddler
7. The Best Homemade Baby Food on the Planet
8. French Kids Eat Everything
Now this might look like a long list and you're thinking, "I thought she avoided most of them". But, 4 of these are food/cookbooks, 5 are written by doctors so they are more fact than opinion, and 3 are lighthearted and written from a parents real-life experience. So, only 2 are actually 'parenting' books, as in telling you what to do as a parent.
In the first list, 3, 5, & 6 were my favorites. They are easy reads with lighthearted stories and anecdotes. When you're pregnant, or in the early months of being a mommy, it's nice to read something that makes you laugh and helps you to see reality.
The Sleep Training book helped us tremendously and I highly recommend it. It gives some really great tips in helping your child to sleep through the night and to fall back to sleep on their own if they do wake up. It takes away the parent being a slave to their child each time their little eyes pop open.
And right now since my baby is 4 months old, I'm reading through the cookbooks. They are each interesting in their own way and exciting because I love food!
Added notes: My husband hasn't read one word of any of these books (and he never will because he isn't a reader, he prefers magazines, and I'm totally cool with that). He is famous for coming home from the office with random pieces of parenting advice and wisdom. I just nod and smile because it's either a) something I already know or b) something I'm definitely not going to do such as give my 4 month old Tylenol. (Actually once one of the women had great advice for coping with gas pains - I can admit when I don't know everything.)
I have used much of the advice given to me from experienced moms.
In days of the past, most new parents had help from their own parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, friends, church family, but today, we live in a more independent society and many new parents live away from family. Therefore, our help comes mostly from books, not people. That is not to say that parents and in-laws and every woman you meet who has had a baby doesn't offer advice. They do! And most of them expect you to use their advice. You can't use everyone's advice so mostly we chalk it up to 'the old ways' and 'the new ways'. If your mom or grandma did it, then it's probably out-dated, so let's check the latest research and see what they do.
This is a list of books that I read during my pregnancy that were enjoyable and beneficial:
1. What To Expect When You're Expecting 4th Edition
2. Your Pregnancy and Childbirth: Month to Month 5th Edition
3. How to Have Your Second Child First: 100 Things That are Good to Know the First Time Around
4. Heading Home With Your Newborn: From Birth to Reality 2nd Edition
5. Bringing Up Bebe
6. How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm and Other Adventures in Parenting
And this is a list of books I've read since the baby was born and/or am currently still reading:
1. What to Expect The First Year
2. Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old
3. Caring For Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5
4. Supernanny: How to Get the Best from Your Children
5. Super Nutrition for Babies: The Right Way to Feed Your Baby for Optimal Health
6. The Petit Appetit Cookbook: Easy, Organic Recipes to Nurture Your Baby and Toddler
7. The Best Homemade Baby Food on the Planet
8. French Kids Eat Everything
Now this might look like a long list and you're thinking, "I thought she avoided most of them". But, 4 of these are food/cookbooks, 5 are written by doctors so they are more fact than opinion, and 3 are lighthearted and written from a parents real-life experience. So, only 2 are actually 'parenting' books, as in telling you what to do as a parent.
In the first list, 3, 5, & 6 were my favorites. They are easy reads with lighthearted stories and anecdotes. When you're pregnant, or in the early months of being a mommy, it's nice to read something that makes you laugh and helps you to see reality.
The Sleep Training book helped us tremendously and I highly recommend it. It gives some really great tips in helping your child to sleep through the night and to fall back to sleep on their own if they do wake up. It takes away the parent being a slave to their child each time their little eyes pop open.
And right now since my baby is 4 months old, I'm reading through the cookbooks. They are each interesting in their own way and exciting because I love food!
Added notes: My husband hasn't read one word of any of these books (and he never will because he isn't a reader, he prefers magazines, and I'm totally cool with that). He is famous for coming home from the office with random pieces of parenting advice and wisdom. I just nod and smile because it's either a) something I already know or b) something I'm definitely not going to do such as give my 4 month old Tylenol. (Actually once one of the women had great advice for coping with gas pains - I can admit when I don't know everything.)
I have used much of the advice given to me from experienced moms.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
The All-Consuming Laundry
I've titled this blog "Thoughts on Motherhood" only because I am a mother, but it's really going to be about my views on parenting and my experiences. I don't want to take away from fatherhood in any way; I know so many great dads out there. And dads are in the thick of it just as much as us moms are.
This morning I sit typing and drinking my smoothie while my beautiful son lies sleeping in his bed upstairs. I can watch him on the baby video monitor and this is such a peaceful time of day for me. I do like being up early now that I'm a mom (I know some people think that's crazy). But, in the morning, everything is calm and with the baby still asleep I can get a lot done. Also, I have a chance to talk to my husband and see him out the door with a fresh, homemade smoothie. When I was pregnant and sleeping until 8 every morning I didn't get to do this. Then when I let the baby be my alarm clock, I was groggy and cranky. Getting up a couple of hours before him allows me to wake up mentally and physically, have something to eat or drink, work-out, get some housework done, etc. If I wait until 8pm when he goes to bed, I'm usually too exhausted to care or even try to get much done.
One of the first things I do in the early morning is start a load of laundry. Ahhhh, the ever increasing amounts of laundry when you have a baby. I've come to the conclusion that I will never ever again be 'caught up' with laundry until maybe when he goes to college. That's okay; I've come to accept that one or more of the bins downstairs will always have clothes waiting to be washed.
Laundry takes more time with a baby (or kid/s). When it was only me and my husband I would just toss in some clothes, add the detergent, push a few buttons, and voila! Not so, my friend, when you have little ones in the house. You must painstakingly go through each piece of clothing and check for possible stains, spray those stains with some kind of stain remover, and toss into washing machine. It feels like it takes forever. I've narrowed it down a few seconds by using Tide pods or another brand of this same idea. It's a bit quicker - just toss in the pod instead of pouring out the right amount of detergent, pouring into machine, and rinsing cup out. Our kid is 4 months old and we've already gone through 3 1/2 bottles of Shout spray. Maybe that seems like too much to some people, perhaps I am an avid sprayer, but I want to get it out the first time around, not send it back through.
Right now my laundry room is in an unfinished basement - not cool, not pretty, and kinda creepy. But, my dream is to have a fabulous, fancy laundry room some day. It will be so much more fun to do laundry with a cool laundry room - I may even enjoy ironing. Right?
This morning I sit typing and drinking my smoothie while my beautiful son lies sleeping in his bed upstairs. I can watch him on the baby video monitor and this is such a peaceful time of day for me. I do like being up early now that I'm a mom (I know some people think that's crazy). But, in the morning, everything is calm and with the baby still asleep I can get a lot done. Also, I have a chance to talk to my husband and see him out the door with a fresh, homemade smoothie. When I was pregnant and sleeping until 8 every morning I didn't get to do this. Then when I let the baby be my alarm clock, I was groggy and cranky. Getting up a couple of hours before him allows me to wake up mentally and physically, have something to eat or drink, work-out, get some housework done, etc. If I wait until 8pm when he goes to bed, I'm usually too exhausted to care or even try to get much done.
One of the first things I do in the early morning is start a load of laundry. Ahhhh, the ever increasing amounts of laundry when you have a baby. I've come to the conclusion that I will never ever again be 'caught up' with laundry until maybe when he goes to college. That's okay; I've come to accept that one or more of the bins downstairs will always have clothes waiting to be washed.
Laundry takes more time with a baby (or kid/s). When it was only me and my husband I would just toss in some clothes, add the detergent, push a few buttons, and voila! Not so, my friend, when you have little ones in the house. You must painstakingly go through each piece of clothing and check for possible stains, spray those stains with some kind of stain remover, and toss into washing machine. It feels like it takes forever. I've narrowed it down a few seconds by using Tide pods or another brand of this same idea. It's a bit quicker - just toss in the pod instead of pouring out the right amount of detergent, pouring into machine, and rinsing cup out. Our kid is 4 months old and we've already gone through 3 1/2 bottles of Shout spray. Maybe that seems like too much to some people, perhaps I am an avid sprayer, but I want to get it out the first time around, not send it back through.
Right now my laundry room is in an unfinished basement - not cool, not pretty, and kinda creepy. But, my dream is to have a fabulous, fancy laundry room some day. It will be so much more fun to do laundry with a cool laundry room - I may even enjoy ironing. Right?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)